First off, let me just say I had such a great time! I traveled down to San Diego with actor, musician and radio DJ Stu Stone, film producer Joey Horvitz and my hubby. We co-hosted a party on Wednesday night with Action Chick, GeekNation.com and Blazin' Hot. Taryn Manning was asked to DJ the party, however, technical issues with The Hard Rock's sound system wreaked havoc and prevented that from happening, even after her big introduction by Stu. I felt terrible for Taryn, she is so talented and like most artists, only wants to express herself... Ether way, it was great having her at the party, accompanied by our mutual good friend Mercedes McNabb, along with many others that I would consider new and old friends. For the ride home, somehow we lost Stu Stone and gained Nicholas Brendon, which led to a 50 pack of chicken nuggets and a few strawberry pies.... Boys will be boys... Which leads to another topic.
Now, about the "Oh, You Sexy Geek!" panel...
I wouldn't call this a recap, 'cause it's not... I only want to touch on a few elements of the panel that is getting quite a bit of buzz on the internet, both negatively and positively.
Let me start by saying, what a lovely bunch of people with me on the panel... All of them. I had such a great time and it's always such an honor to be asked to be on one of these panels. The panel was assembled by Katrina Hill a.k.a Action Chick and its obvious intention was to touch on a few issues regarding cosplay, sexuality, objectifying, feminism and hate - success! No one was trying to cure cancer or get their face on the next dollar coin.
Personally, I didn't have much to say; at times I tend to speak too much, other times I don't... Aren't all of us this way? This doesn't mean I did or didn't agree, nor does it mean that I don't have an opinion. Truthfully, I enjoyed listening to the panel and I felt myself listening in as though I was in the crowd. I believe the subject became more than I ever thought it would and the crowd seemed more engaged than I expected. This is a good thing, right? Well, kinda... Now what I'm seeing written on some blogs, calling out Bonnie, Adrianne and Clare (Grant) are ridiculous, leaving me wishing I could Quantum Leap back into the panel, just to make sure people understood what these girls were saying and the context of the discussion.
Let me start by saying, the fact that these girls have the {replace balls with tits} to get up and speak their minds breaks all walls of traditional feminist expectations.
And before I go on, let me tell you a few things about myself:
I graduated from NYU in three years.
My parents are about to have their 40th anniversay.
I have an amazing relationship with my only sibling.
I LOVE my mother-in-law.
I've been in a relationship with my soul-mate for 12 years, married for almost 7.
The day my husband tries to own me is the day I will leave him.
I strongly support equal rights.
I am pro-choice.
My sister spent Comic-Con weekend marrying gay couples in NY.
I'm deeply involved with raising two beautiful daughters and I still work and travel.
I have no enemies that I'm aware of.
I do yoga at least once a day, yet only wear a bikini in certain public situations.
I dress fairly reserved but I'd do Playboy, depending on the style of the shoot.
I try very hard to be respectful to all those I meet.
In other words, I feel I am a very good representation of what the feminist movement was, is or should be and I heard nothing from my co-panelists that constitutes bitterness, frustration or anger. Let me clarify a few comments that were made in an effort to shed some light:
At one point Jennifer Stuller brought up the question of media literacy, which Clare Grant responded to with "I don't read magazines". Clare is in the public eye and her view is going to be completely different than others. What's wrong with this response? She was CLEARLY trying to say, I will not allow certain media to bring me down. Isn't that the goal? I don't think Jennifer was offended and I don't think Clare insulted women, or downplayed the importance of the media's impact. She was giving her own personal message that: hey, if it bothers you, you don't have to listen and you especially don't have to contribute to the success of those magazines.
One site (http://www.feministfatale.com/2011/07/comic-con-recap-oh-you-sexy-geek/) posted a link of a video that Seth did as a PSA. Ironically, isn't this video (below) saying the exact same thing that Clare G. was saying?
Others are also angry at Bonnie and Adrianne for blaming certain women/girls because they both elaborated on another panelist's statement, saying that females who ridicule other females for wearing costumes are insecure and lack self-esteem. Obviously, their statements are being taken out of context, as usual. I was there, I know exactly what they were saying - Their statements were directly referring to those who are mean in their statements and obviously try to hurt people. For arguments sake, let's they they weren't taken out of context and that is their opinion... Or that is their experiences with other girls being mean or hateful. Are they wrong for having an opinion? Or are they wrong for having those experiences with hateful people? That was their attempt at being empowering, telling other women in the audience to not be hurt or affected by these hateful people. Somehow, other people have figured out a way to twist their meaning or their intentions, doing exactly what they were warning about. The good side of this is, they are smart and mature women who will ignore this hate.
Sadly, some people only hear what they want to hear. This was a panel of artists, giving their personal opinions as if they were standing in front of a mirror. Not to harm, disgrace, insult and certainly not to degrade women. Again, I barely said a word - That is not a disclaimer, I say this so that you who are reading understand that I am not defending anything I said, I am defending what I would liked to have said.
I'm a firm believer in the/a feminist movement, as long as it doesn't cross the line. There is a responsibility that comes with any voice; a responsibility that has to have a balance. Every opinion and battle must take into consideration other people's rights, views and feelings. Anything short of that is near-sided and can easily produce a level of censorship.
Let me end with Chris Gore's inappropriate statement of "... stick my penis in every female on this panel." Personally, I laughed. So what? The only thing he could be accused of in that moment is bad humor. The comment was CLEARLY made as a satire of the panel's subject matter, not an effort to degrade women. To play devil's advocate, so what if he did mean otherwise? Should we put emphasis on caring? I'm not defending Chris, I don't even know him, I only met Chris on Thurs, after the panel. I'm only saying that Chris is not the President, nor is he The Speaker of the House... He's not even Vice President (that was a joke), he is a TV host and comedian. Congrats to him for having the {replace tits with balls} to get on a panel with 7 other women to discuss this topic.
I guess my point is, relax people. Objectifying women has always been a serious and sensitive subject, one that I take very seriously. However, I've also learned to choose my battles. I'd like to believe that in most situations I handle myself strong, professionally and always respectful of women. I love being a woman and never want to do anything to insult the women who fought to give me a voice. With that said, I've also learned that fighting in a fight that is not a fight, leaves me fighting with myself (sounds more like Sphinx from Mystery Men than Confucius)... And that, my friends, can do much more damage as a whole.
To me, based on much of what I'm reading on other blogs, if anything is going to continue to degrade women, it's women... That statement sounds very similar to what Adrianne and Bonnie were saying... Oops, it looks like I agree!
I would like to believe that with all of our different views and all the varied personalities from our panel, from Adrianne to Jennifer, that we all at least respected one another's opinions - That we all shook hands, said our goodbyes and walked away with a certain admiration for one another. Isn't that the point? Isn't that the sole purpose for a diverse group such as this to get together? To learn from one another? If nothing else, to part with kind words? I would much rather learn from one another in moments like this, than to completely misread a person's statements or intentions, only because it fits better with an agenda or a lame attempt at negativity. Wouldn't you?
A special thanks to our moderator and organizer Katrina Hill and my fellow panel members Bonnie Burton, Adrianne Curry, Clare Grant, Jill Pantozzi, Kiala Kazebee, Jennifer K. Stuller and Chris Gore.
To everyone, please try to love, accept and respect one another, despite our different beliefs... Wouldn't that be beautiful?
Respectfully,
Clare
xoxo
